When I told my sister I was pregnant what feels like 1,000 years ago (because time moves at the rate of a snail on top of a turtle in quicksand when you’re pregnant), she immediately said it was a girl. Why? Because she feels like I’m a girl Mom.
That’s not her saying that I couldn’t raise a boy. In fact, I don’t really know what she was saying she I’m not sure she actually knows what she was saying either because she never really elaborated she said “you just are.”
Not vague at all.
But, the more I think about it and consider it, she’s totally right and maybe not for the reasons she even considered or thought about.
I’m a girl Mom because I’m continually encouraging my daughter to stick up for herself. I remind her in even the most overt ways that she’s capable. She’s bright. She’s strong. I purposely choose adjectives to try and empower her and I try to set an example that one day she might want to emulate in her own life.
I want her to be a good human. I remind her that being a good human costs her nothing, even at age two.
I originally bought her somewhat gender neutral toys and purposely filled her toy room with things that were interesting, not gender specific. Do I care if she’s playing with a Barbie or a baby doll? Absolutely not. I hope if she wants to have kids in the future, she does and I hope she’s a great mom to them. I want her to have options. I want her to know that she’s as much as she wants to be – whether that’s a stay at home mom, an astronaut or the PTA president. I don’t care. I just want her to be her and not as a result of me confining her to any one specific box.
I will teach her to respect herself and her body. I will teach her that others need to do the same. I will teach her that she needs to respect others as well. That no means no and that door swings both ways. That she is not the sum of her circumstances. That she is responsible for her actions, good or bad.
I’m a girl Mom because I realize now that I am absolutely supposed to be. That everything I emulate and stand for comes from my desire for my two girls to live a bright life of possibility. Her dad is a girl dad because he understands that and not even just understands it, but champions it.
My girls will be raised to understand their rights, stick up for themselves, and most of all, be good humans. I hope they stick up for the voiceless and leave a little sparkle wherever they go – in whatever form they want.
Good call sis, you were right.