My sister-in-law Jennifer is visiting and the 1×1 time is fantastic. We got to have a lot of conversations about many, many different things that honestly, we never would’ve been able to talk about had we not moved. I think a lot of people consider when you live far away that you miss out on everything. You miss out on some things. The day to day, the birthday parties, etc. It’s replaced with something very special though. If you get lucky enough to have family members physically come visit you, you get time with them that you’d never get in the rush of day to day life back home. Large family gatherings are filled with the attempt to talk to everyone and you almost never get the chance to speak on a deeper level and really reconnect with someone and talk about something much deeper than “How are you?”
For this reason, I wish we could fly everyone in our families out here to just randomly visit and spend a weekend (and you’re all invited, seriously). I’ve honestly taken to valuing the time when people come here more than when we go home. When we go home we spend our time running from house to house to house and honestly not devoting enough attention to each of the people or the relationships we have. Everything is just rushed.
Jennifer and I got into a nice conversation about introvert/extrovert and what it means to really have a meaningful conversation with someone and I expressed to her something a lot of people maybe don’t know. I am naturally introverted. I am pretty evenly balanced, but my scale does tip slightly to being an introvert. It’s for this reason that it can be absolutely draining to go to large family gatherings. I don’t need the energy in the room like extroverts. I like to be alone. I value my time to recharge. I am comfortable in complete silence with someone.
Now, that’s not to say if you invite me that I won’t come. I will always come. I value my time with people. It’s just to say that I am not someone who talks for the sake of hearing myself. My word for the year (and for life, really) is intention. Be intentional. That is my motto and it governs my actions, it governs my thoughts and it really governs what comes out of my mouth. I think a lot of exudes in my interactions with people at large gatherings. If I don’t know you and don’t know you well, if we’re not in a place where I can spend time actually getting to know you, I might just gloss by you and seek people that I know I can talk to a little bit more – that get me. It’s interesting too, because I am not a bad networker. I can turn myself on when I need to do so, I just prefer not having to do so.
Having this time with people here when they come to visit is so special because I feel as though I am better able to be in my own element and the quality of the relationships I am able to foster with people in just a few short days is so much greater than my coming home and rushing around continually, trying to see everyone and visit. I enjoy my time with people in those moments too, but I absolutely love my time in moments like what we’re able to experience here today. It’s great and something that I’ve better been able to reflect on over these last few months and it has become more and more apparent as Jennifer has been visiting.